I think I concur with your assessment. As a male of some 70 years, I still enjoy the eye candy that comes from watching beautiful women sexily dressed. And with age, comes the wisdom that recognizes the deeper need for companionship as we all travel the road of life. However, I would advise women that while sexy is great - personality wins in the long run. For me at least, I would take a women with average looks but a great sense of humor - over the gal who some would discribe as a "10". But what do I know - grandkids, not sex appeal is my big motivator now.

We're told in the work world to dress for sucsess.....when a woman shows the world so much, what does it tell the world she is dressing for? Does the clothing say" don't treat me as if I have a brian and a personality ?" Why would any female put such a low value on herself?

Take a look at most of the back-to-school ads. The pre-teens look like hookers.This is what our children are being offered today. How can a pre-teen make a decent choice, when they aren't being shown anything else? Parents, you can! Don't buy this junk for your kids.

C,
I couldn't agree more! Shame on the makers of the kiddie clothes, but shame on the parents that purchase them more!

Indeed. I saw this on facebook the other day and I think it trully defines what you are saying "Be a girl with a mind of her own, a woman with an attitude and a lady with class." Simply put.

Thank you Karen.

I also blame the dads who are unwilling to say no to their daughters on immodest attire. They, of all people, should know how men think and also want the best mates for their daughters.

It’s possible, but not easy, to find attractive and modest dresses for dances. You would think that supply and demand would naturally create a market. Unfortunately, peer pressure is powerful and there is not enough demand for modest clothing. Parents can do at least two things to push back:

Network with other parents and patronize stores that sell modest clothes (there are some).

Avoid stores like Abercrombie and Fitch that deliberately push early sexualization and ignore the complaints of customers, “We don’t care what you think.”

Parents need to step up and not let their daughters dress, or act, like hookers. Children aren't born with an innate sense of morals, nor do young girls often have any idea what dressing the way they do says about them. It is the parent's responsibility to raise their children, but too many parents are more concerned about themselves than their children. Way too many kids are raised by their mother and see her various boyfriends over the years instead of being raised in a stable two parent family. It's simply selfish parenting where the parents put themselves first instead of their children. It's not just the clothes, far too many people (of both genders) have cheapened the meaning of sex, to the point where it is constantly on display and readily available. What should be part of a marriage is instead enjoyed freely and recreationally by those, young and old, who are too irresponsible or foolish to understand that what they are doing is wrong... and society just accepts this.

This country needs to hit the reset button as far as morality is concerned. The problem is far deeper than clothes.

I hope you do. You have started an important discussion

I was agreeing, Karen. You can’t think of everything. JH nailed it; parents have to be willing to parent and not be their children’s friends sometimes. Only two people can be parents; later on the children may thank them. If not, at least the parents know that they did their best. You can love your child the most by not spoiling him/her and by putting up healthy boundaries.

Dr. Spock did a whole generation of permissive parents a disservice. Child-centered parenting can produce adolescent adults. Dr. James Dobson with books like Dare to Discipline is much better, in my opinion.

I think we also need to restigmatize swearing. That’s something most Americans can agree on. That’s on my list of articles to write someday. Keep up the good work!

I love that you poseted this. I am a 40something, single/divorced man. I see these young girls walking around like this and I want to smack their parents. Men can't help but stare, and regardless of the taboo, a 15 year old displaying her 'daisy' will drive a good man to the bottle, and a bad one to corruption. And parenting is a huge part of this. I agree 99% with JH. I look for more of your articles on this subject. I hope they are read far and wide. The only way I would alter what JH said, is to say it is completely possible (but not preferable) to both PARENT, and be divorced. Just because a woman is single, doesn't mean she has to flaunt her boyfriends, and her strategy for finding them in front of her children. And in divorced families where the Father steps up and parents, things can be very different then the scenerio JH describes.

Just wanted to add my voice to those who say good for you for posting this. I'm in the 40s are fabulous club too and am constantly amazed at how girls to women of almost any age have no clue what it is/used to be like to be identified as a lady. The words that come out of their mouths, the conversations they take part in, let alone what they wear, not all that long ago was looked upon as being for another kind of lady-not one most wanted to emulate. If we are old, out of touch or uncool for trying to create self-respect, and respect for others, so be it. These kinds of discussions need to happen way more often. I'm very glad to see such a positive response so far.

Karen -
feminism has disintegrated society's moral fabric??!! Really?

Cheryl,
I couldn't agree more! I'm hoping this article continues to attract attention and positive feedback as well as the others I post. I think too many times we are willing to let things go in response to "tolerance" and quite frankly I have no tolerance for the direction we are heading in with our children. As far as grown women not getting the big picture on ladylike etiquette...well I can only hope they read the article and question their choices.

@Lynn...is that a quote from my article? Forgive me, but I can't find it. Perhaps from something else I have written?

My views on feminism are as follows. I think that feminism or the woman's lib movements have done some good things for women. I also believe that just like a lot of things in the twenty-first century it can be taken too far on many occasions and as a woman I find it rather irritating. There are some things that men do better than women...shocking. On the other hand there are some things that women do better than men. I don't believe girls should play on the boys football team either...omg I'm a traitor! That doesn't mean I don't think woman shouldn't play football, it means i think they should have their own darn team! Everything isn't equal and trying to make it so is just awkward...just my opinion and you know what they say about those.

Well, sometime those female football players go to the Olympics. Holley Mangold is Nick Mangolds little sister. She is far from a petite flower, but there is room for everyone in this world I suppose.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1274798-2012-olympics-holley-sister-of-nfl-center-making-name-for-herself
Needless to say, if you grew up with brothers, they made you a lttle tougher.

@Lianne...and as you humorously point to my breasts as your contribution, I write this article as mine :) Thanks for taking the time...have a wonderful weekend!

(Please notice: The following is tongue and cheek and only partially serious.)

Once a month I take my daughter on a daddy/daughter date. By doing this I am teaching her that she is a princess - and a princess never opens her own door. The other day I forgot to get her door and she just stood there and cleared her throat and directed my attention to the fact that she was waiting... I think the little bugger was actually tapping her foot at me. ;-)

I am teaching her that if a gentleman takes her to dinner but calls it a "dutch treat" then she should allow some other young lady the pleasure of his company.

I am teaching her that if a gentleman tells her that he "loves her" yet pressures her for premarital attention then he does not really.

I am teaching her that love is sacrificial and if the young man that would woe her heart does not sacrifice himself for his mother then he is not likely going to sacrifice himself for her either.

Yes, I know that my teachings are gross over simplifications but I would have her throw one back that was a keeper than keep one that should have been thrown back.

And Yes, some people may say that I am doing some damage to my daughter but I figure that the college-fund will double for a therapy-fund in a heart beat and I don't want to have use it for a Baby's Room. ;-)

I used to sub-teach in the mid-2000's and I was not impressed with the thongs that 6th grade girls insisted in displaying - Thanks for the article.