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Online Dating: The Vanishing Man

My first run-in with online dating (December 2011).

Perhaps we should start with my first ever back-and-forth chat session. And with that, I feel the need to stress the fact that it is necessary for more than one person to perpetuate the conversation. There is nothing more irritating than giving someone a paragraph chock full of fantastic information and they go and give you a one-word reply. *sigh*

I should have known this was where things started to go downhill. But he was cute. Cute enough for me to ignore the blatant signs this was a no-go. Cute enough for me to question his motives. Does he have no intentions of meeting up? If we do, is he going to chloroform me in the parking lot? Cute enough for me to not care what the intentions were, and for me to put forth all the effort into maintaining a conversation for a week. Talk about pressure.

He kept asking for my phone number. I was uncertain about this, as I am new to online dating, so I asked my best friend. FYI, she's a genius. She said, "NEVER give out your phone number! If they're crazy, it's easier to shake 'em loose if they don't have that vital information. The only time there should be a phone number swap is if YOU get HIS - and you only use it if you can't find him at Denny's." Point taken. So I thwart his suggestions for a phone number swap. Until the 3rd time he asks and I just flat out ask him if he wants to meet up instead. And he says yes. Reverting back to how cute he is, I'm thinking "SCORE!". We go through the motions: Where do you want to meet? Am I coming to you or are you driving out here? Do you want to do dinner, coffee, WHAT?!?!?

At this point it's Thursday, and he suggests that we go out to dinner. He wants to treat me. He'll drive out here and I can pick the place. Cool. Things are moving along at a decent rate. Friday comes along, and we decide on Saturday for the meet-up. But neither of us can decide what we want to eat, so we say we'll hash out the details the next day.

Saturday comes. I wake up, no messages. So I send him a quick one "Hey, have you solidified any details for tonight? When and where?". Nothing. All damn day. I make an evening run to Meijer so I can pick up the essential "Being Stood Up" goods. Ben and Jerry's? Check. Pretzels? Check. Self-Confidence?? ...missing...

It's 7 p.m. Then 8. Then 10:30 and I'm angered and depressed. Ben and Jerry's gone, I decide to call it a night.

I never heard from him again, and this kicked off in the beginning of December. The decency of people, or lack thereof, never ceases to amaze me. And here comes the question of the hour: WHY do people say they are going to do something when they have no intention of DOING it?!?! Why build it up like you're interested with no evidence to the contrary?

So I'm convinced I avoided a chloroform-soaked rag in the parking lot of an Applebees. Either that, or he died. Or he was just a shyster to begin with.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Lynn February 14, 2012 at 07:10 PM
Kristen, I feel bad for the single women out there in today's world! It has to be very frustrating and tiring. Be patient, you'll find Mr. Right sooner or later when you least expect it!
Karen Blaisdell February 16, 2012 at 01:26 PM
Probably a hairy, beer bellied man who was twice the age he told you he was! Be thankful he was a no show!
Kristen Braun February 16, 2012 at 04:14 PM
Thanks Lynn, I appreciate the comment :) I've come to a few realizations as far as what to realiztically expect from online dating, and we'll see what happens. If you happen to know of Mr. Right, or can catch a glimpse of him, you know where to find me. Thanks for reading!
Kristen Braun February 16, 2012 at 04:14 PM
My sister had come up with pretty much a parallel conclusion :) Thanks for the comment Karen!
vera July 21, 2012 at 11:07 AM
Hello Dear My Name is vera i see you profile a bloomfield-mi.patch.com and i become interested in you. i will like to build a good relationship with you can you write me back with my email [verajohson@yahoo.com] i will tell you more about myself and give you my picture. Remember that Love is the most important in life, and distance does not matter what matters is the truth love, please contact me through my email thank and god bless you, yours love (verajohson@yahoo.com)

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